UPTOWN ESCAPADES: Diary of a Sexagenarian

Hey there! If you’ve ever read my first web series: The Thorn in the Rose, then some of the characters that appear in this story might be familiar to you. I lifted the main character of this series-  Mrs Badmus aka Iya Ile Ookan directly from the TTiTR. This is not a sequel to TTiTR and can be read as a stand-alone. (Some events here happened during the timeline of TTiTR anyway, so…). Without further ado, enjoy!

N.B The story is unedited, so read at your own peril lol. (Never mind me, it’s not that bad)


Entry One

Assalamu alaykum awesome reader! Welcome to my diary; where the most intimate thoughts that dwell in my mind reside. Do not be confused about the title, as I haven’t quite worked out what to call it yet. It’s hard to decide if the first title is good enough or if the second one is just right.

Before I proceed, let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am Mrs. Maryam Adesewa Badmus – a widow and mother of one. I am also known in the neighbourhood as Iya Ile Ookan. Yes, I know what you are thinking but an explanation about how I came about that insulting (and razz) name will follow in the next few lines.

You see dear reader, I live alone.  I want you to conjure up in your mind’s eye the image of an old woman staying in a five-bedroom duplex day in, day out, with no one to keep her company.

Boring, right?

EXACTLY! So, to beat boredom, I try to come up with creative ways to spend time. Watching television, surfing the internet or playing games is not exactly my thing, but I do enjoy studying things (I used to be an investigative journalist). Due to this passion of mine, sitting in front of my house and taking in the scenery (and people of course) became my favourite and only pastime. As far as I know, there’s no law in the world preventing an old woman from enjoying ‘nature’, abi?

Anyway, come rain or shine you’ll find me at the entrance to my house lounging in Comfort (my favourite rocking chair), with a flask of unsweetened herbal tea by my side. Nothing- and I mean that literally- happens in this neighbourhood without me getting wind of it.

So dear reader, in light of the above my guess is that you may have gleaned the reason I got tagged with such an alias. I don’t know (but I have a very good idea) who coined the annoying epithet, but it’s stuck and there’s nothing to be done about it. Now enough about me, let’s move on to the real reason why this entry is being made.

My neighbours have little love for me and believe me the feeling is one hundred percent mutual. Every one of them treats me like trash… except for two individuals; Imaam Zakariyyah and Sumayyah.

Imaam Zakariyyah is the leader of the neighbourhood masjid and he treats me with the respect and honour that my 60-year-old self, deserves. Imaam is very kind to me and takes his time to teach me about our beautiful religion. It’s no wonder that he became my first friend in the estate.

My other friend lives with her family just opposite my house. Sumayyah is a  courteous young woman who always has a smile and a kind word for me. Becoming friends with her happened quite by accident (that’s a story for another day) but I thank Allah daily for her presence in my life. Such a pity that her husband, Zaid thought otherwise and terminated our friendship.

To cut a long story short, I went visiting my only son and his family in the UK and returned a few months ago (I’ll tell you all about the trip some other time). Imagine my surprise when I found out (never mind how) that Zaid had divorced Sumayyah, married another woman, and is presently planning an ‘aqeeqah. Subhanallah! I always felt there was something off about the couple but never realised that the ‘something’ was irreparable. To be honest, this new development hurt and angered me at the same time because the Sumayyah that I know doesn’t deserve such treatment. The details are still fuzzy right now, but I am quite sure that nobody, but Zaid is to be blamed for everything and anything that happened.

Wait, before you ask, the answer is: No. I do not know ALL the details of what transpired, and I am not in contact with Sumayyah either but it feels good to heap all the blame on Zaid because… why not? He’s never been nice to me so why should I be?

Anyway, I won’t bore you with details of what I would or wouldn’t have done if I had been home earlier, but I will show you what I INTEND TO DO NOW that I have returned.
The naming ceremony is slated for Thursday next week and every resident of the estate is invited; Imaam Zakariyyah said as much when he announced at the masjid at Subh. As soon as I drop my pen, I’ll go ahead and rally the gang; Iya n gba Life, Mama de Mama and Sisi Gengeto. We will storm that venue and fight for a fellow sister’s rights. In shaa Allah wa Bi idhnihi, it can be done.

Dada O le ja…

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